Some top tips for maintaining depression during recession.
*Make sure you don't know anyone besides the original five people that were in your group in highschool. All of whom are into equestrian, science or zoology.
*When attending music festivals you intend to review, make sure to show up absolutely inebriated in order to put the "miss every band" factor into full swing. Alternatively, get arrested by undercover cops who think you have drugs, when it's really just some vodka you snuck in smartly, in an unlabeled orange pill container.
*When you score an interview with Dave Grohl, refer to his band as Food Fighters.
*Be a fan of Creed or Nickelback.
*Accidentally tape over your interview with Dave Grohl with footage of Creed, Live in Texas.
*Boycott Pearl Jam, as you think Kurt would approve.